What the yetzer hara desperately wishes you’ll never find out

You know how when you’re a little kid, you think about things one way – and then when you grow up, you realize how mistaken you’ve been?

At five years old, most of us thought eating nothing but candy translated into a dream life. Then we got older, and we realized how sick too much sugar can make us feel, and we started appreciating balanced, nutritious food.

Same for “staying up ALL night, like Mommy and Daddy.” Until we became parents ourselves, and recognized the inestimable value of a good night’s sleep.

Our perspectives have matured in many ways.

But, thanks to the yetzer hara, most of us still have a pretty “candy-and-late-bedtime” perspective about work and accomplishment.

We’re fine putting in a good day’s work – but we look forward most to sitting back and relishing our success at the end. We’re willing to go to school or train hard for competitions – so we can hang the certificates and trophies on our walls.

When we embark on a major project, we anticipate the celebration and rest we’ll enjoy when we finish. As far as we’re concerned, the process to get there is just a means (and often a burdensome one) to the gain at the end.

Which means that last week’s email didn’t sit too well with some of us.

Last week, we expanded on the idea that ideally, we Jews should be living in a state of constant pursuit. Instead of sitting in the stands, watching the game of life, we should be on the court, playing the game, fully engaged in the furor of chasing more, more, more connection to Hashem.

With our end-focused perspective, this mindset doesn’t appeal too much. If we subscribe to it, we fear, we won’t ever get to enjoy that feeling of accomplishment, of success, of now-I-can-sit-back-and-treat-myself-to-a-good-vacation.

Which is why we need to ask ourselves: could the ultimate enjoyment in life come from vacationing? Or are we missing out on an even greater level of pleasure? Has the yetzer hara tricked us into settling for less?

Have you ever delivered a speech to a massive audience? Played an intense sports game? Served as chazan during a significant tefillah in shul? Hosted or coordinated a major event?

Sure, you had tremendous responsibility during those activities. You needed to be “on” every second, constantly watching your game.

But chances are, you loved every minute. You were present, engaged, alive – an exhilarating blend of feelings.

Being a guest, a spectator, or an audience member certainly has its perks. It’s a low-pressure, relaxing place to be. Pure entertainment, zero risk.

But when you’re in that position, you don’t get to experience the rush, the excitement, that comes when you’re actually on the court or in the spotlight.

It’s interesting – we mark siyumim, celebrations after finishing a tractate of Talmud, with a short prayer. In that little ceremony, we don’t say much about the accomplishment we’re commemorating.

Instead, we focus completely on the future. We express our wishes to keep delving into the tractate and deepening our connection to Torah.

Yes, a siyum is a time to celebrate our achievements. But our ultimate focus must always be on the future. Finishing a tractate and celebrating its completion aren’t ends in themselves; they’re steps in our ever-growing pursuit of Torah.

Our yetzer hara wants us to think like children. To place inordinate value on empty sweets and imagined pleasures.

What doesn’t he want? He desperately hopes we’ll never come to the realization that “on-the-court Judaism” – a life of constant pursuit – offers the most invigorating, joyful life possible.

Sorry, yetzer hara. You can’t fool us forever. And next week, we’ll begin acquiring the tools to expose your game completely.